Thursday, November 30, 2006

Adia do believe I've failed you

So, it's still really cold. I worked overnight last night and had a really weird dream i wanted to share with ya'll. So for some reason I was back in California. Possibly visiting. I was walking down the road all by myself and suddenly a big black suburban pulls up to the sidewalk, the door swings open and a girl (I think it may have been Julia Roberts, whom I love b-t-w) and she leans out and asks for directions. To the Sioux Falls airport (yeah I know, but i was definitely in cali) So I tell them I know how to get them there and start giving them directions when I gasp and say, "Oh my goodness, you're Jude Law!" (I don't even like Jude Law, I only know one movie he was in and it was Alfie and I hated that movie, anyway) So I ask him for an autograph and for some reason he's like, I'll give you a lift to the Sioux Falls airport too! (not sure where I was going) He then tells me that if I'm going to get an autograph he has to get his tablet of paper out that he gives autographs on, out. And it's in a "man bag" in the back. He asks me to get it and I do (huh?) He signs my autograph and suddenly we're going to the Sioux Falls airport. Julia is talking to me and asking my name (shouldn't they ask that before I get in their vehicle?) and for some reason I had a lisp. I couldn't say my own name! I became "Thara" (by this time I was sure it was Julia Roberts) Julia thought this was funny?! And started to make fun of me because my name was supposed to be Sara and I couldn't say my own name. I was hurt and tried to tell them that I had a lisp because I had a baby a year ago. (How that was connected, don't ask me.) Then suddenly I woke up. I really wanted to get some baby advice from Julia Roberts, cuz that'd be cool. But now I don't know if I like her anymore cuz she made fun of me for a lisp. I don't think she'd normally do that sort of thing in real life. She seems so nice. But you know, I don't know that for a fact.
Well, that was my dream, I was working so it made it a little wierder still. I think it was because a wore red socks.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

i've been thinking...

and hoping that mark gets home soon so we can eat. but besides that.... it hasn't snowed yet. it's really cold though. anyone else suffering with me?!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Loneliness is a thief in the night
breaking through the window of my
soul and stuffing my happiness in
his canvasd sack of self-hatred

In the late watches of the night
when the whole world is asleep
Loneliness is the only company
I have as I stare at the
ceiling tiles

He keeps me warm and safe
in his firm and heartless grip
like a stainless steel vice of
emotional torment

It bleeds into my being
and turns me inside -out


Saturday, November 25, 2006


thanksgiving. i do like thanksgiving, but i hate the fact that everyone is expected to stuff themselves so full that they can't think anymore. that grosses me out. no offense to any of you out there that love doing that. i just don't like it. but anyway. i thought i'd mention things i'm thankful for.
1) mark- a husband that supports me and loves me. and lets me be mad.
2) kenny- i think my son is very mild tempered and a very good baby in general. hopefully this continues, but i couldn't have it better as of right now. :)
3) all other family- they provide me with so much support and are the ones who do bring me a better outlook. even if i don't want it. thanks mom....
4) a warm home- here unlike some people in other countries, i don't have to sniff glue in a dump that's my home to feel good.
5) a decent job- because as i've mentioned before i hate money and the necessity thereof but i have a decent job that i don't mind most of the time and that provides me with the means to live. i could have a worse job. at least i'm not washing semi's or something.... haha
6) good friends- i have such great friends. one's that will listen to me bitch and moan and just let me do it. ah that is so refreshing.
7) cell phones- terrible i know, but really they are nice. i can't imagine that i would get to talk to my husband everyday without one.
8) love- so absolute and so pure. but again, so flawed. but yet pure. i'll explain that to you sometime if you care to understand it.f
9) time- i can't think of something God has given us that is so misused and so cherished at once. all depending on your personal situation.
10) last but not least- a great God and such a wonderful creation to appreciate. (i hope all of you will try to help me remember this when it's snowing and terribly cold.)

Well, that's really not it, but there are so many and those are some of the biggest one's as of right now. So, thanks to all of you who have helped me in this past year to become a better person (or so i think) and for all of you hwho have helped me to see these things.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

looking through

"A New Anthology of Modern Poetry." (copyright 1938... yeah that kind of modern) Really love this poem.

I am of Ireland
W.B. Yeats

"I am of Ireland,
And the Holy Land of Ireland,
And time runs on," cried she.
"Come out of charity,
Come dance with me in Ireland."

One man, one man alone
In that outlandish gear,
One solitary man
Of all that rambled there
Had turned his stately head.
"That is a long way off,
And time runs on," he said,
"And the night grows rough."

"I am of Ireland,
And the Holy Land of Ireland,
And time runs on," cried she.
Come our of charity
And dance with me in Ireland."

"The fiddlers are all thumbs,
Or the fiddle-strings accursed,
The drums and kettle-drums
And the trumpets all are burst,
And the trombone," cried he,
"The trumpet and trombone,"
And cocked a malicious eye,
"But time runs on, runs on."

"I am of Ireland,
And the Holy Land of Ireland,
And time runs on," cried she.
"Come out of charity,
Come dance with me in Ireland."

For some reason this poem really hit me today. I absolutely love it. :)

Friday, November 10, 2006

the house next door
our house in front
the house next door on the OTHER side, my future house... :)
our side yard
the house in the alley behind us
This snow is behind our house but it looks really pretty against the trees.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


yay for people who wanna switch shifts because i ended up getting to work tonight instead of sat. overnight! yay! i love it.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

tis a sad day

since I was being "un-Christian" and at Wal-Mart on Sunday, I was mistaken for a Wal-mart employee. Burn. I was wearing church clothes and was holding stuff in my hands but how does that equate to me being an employee of the local Wallyworld? I'm not old-looking I don't think, and I don't have numerous tattoos and was not wearing shorty-shorts and a tanktop. (the two typical Wal-Mart employees, yes I did just stereotype.) It made me feel loserish. On a lighter note, Halloween was fun. Cal won the costume contest at Doc's but it was good fun. I don't know how to feel about the French Maids winning but I feel it was better than hoochie strawberry shortcake or skanky little miss bopeep for the couples contest. bah. when did halloween become about being able to dress in skimpy clothes? meh. anyway. i guess that wasn't really a lighter note. But I was happy that Cal won in his cougar costume. it was kinda funny and pretty cute. He looked more like a kitten half the time, but hey... it happens. That's all.